Toddler tantrums have started early!

Why did no one warn me about tantrums? At only 16 months old I wasn’t expecting these quite yet! Call me naïve but I thought tantrums were for two-year-olds.

The tantrums seem to have appeared out of nowhere and are coming thick and fast. My daughter has grown up quite a bit recently. She is now chatting away and she can say lots of words, but there are times when trying to get her point across can frustrate her. When I don’t understand her attempts to express herself it can result in a meltdown.

However, the biggest cause of tantrums is being told she can’t do something or can’t have something. For example ‘No, you can’t use the kitchen scissors’, or 'No, you can't stick your finger up the dog's bum’. She knows exactly what she wants and doesn’t want already, and is very determined to get her own way.

When a tantrum starts it can be quite a remarkable thing to see, your sweet little baby is somehow possessed by an angry little devil! There is so much raw emotion and without the tools to properly convey their feelings and thoughts these explosions are kind of inevitable for even the sweetest of children.

Once the anger takes over, screaming, shouting and wildly flinging their bodies to the floor are common practice. What may seem very minor to you, can seem like the end of the world to a toddler. It usually isn’t long before the anger melts into sadness, the flailing arms reach out for comfort and all they want is a cuddle.

When tantrums strike it can be really embarrassing, especially when in a public place, but I try to remember that tantrums are a normal part of a child's development. It doesn’t make me a bad parent and it doesn’t mean my child is naughty or bad.

There is so much conflicting advice out there on how to deal with toddler tantrums and I’m not quite sure exactly where I stand yet. 16-months-old seems too young to understand punishment, and I don’t really blame her for expressing her emotions the only way her toddler brain knows how. So I'm hanging in there, trying to give her help and be patient in the hope she'll soon learn how cope with her emotions and will outgrow tantrums.

Love Mallory x

Here are my top tips for dealing with tantrums:

It can go from from butter wouldn't melt...

... To total meltdown in Waterstones! All because I said she couldn't pull the books off the shelves and fling them across the shop floor.

When tantrums take place in public it can be so embarrassing but try not to lose your cool. Stay as calm as possible because your toddler feeds off your emotions and will be studying your reactions closely.

I generally let her get out the anger and have a good old scream and shout. It usually only lasts a few minutes before she wants a cuddle.

Distraction can be a great way of defusing the situation. It won't always work but I find removing my daughter from the situation or showing her something interesting stops tantrums in their tracks.

While it can be tempting to join in sometimes and match them at their own game it probably is best you don't! Losing your temper (we have all done it) never makes the situation better.

Try not to laugh! As funny as crying because you can't wear wellies and a shower cap to bed might be, you don't want your toddler thinking these reactions are amusing.

Try not to hold a grudge. Don't blame them for something they don't really understand and can't control yet. Tantrums are generally not a learnt behaviour at this age.

Pick your battles. It can often feel like all you say to a toddler is no because they are so inquisitive and want to touch everything! It is not always worth the trouble and as long as they are not in danger letting them experiment is all part of the fun!

"What are you looking at?" If all else fails close your eyes and count to ten, it will all be over soon!

They soon return to their adorable selves and leave you wondering if it was all just a horrible nightmare... Until next time!

Find Mallory on Instagram, @mallorybourn, and follow her personal blog, bournsisters.com.

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