I'm addicted to breastfeeding

Bourn Sisters

posted in Mum Stories

This is the first blog by Mallory Bourn, who has joined the team with her sister Hattie. She has a one-year-old daughter called Blythe.

Breastfeeding, for me, has been an amazing experience. My daughter Blythe is now 1 and I am still breastfeeding twice a day.

When I think about stopping I feel really sad, I am so attached to it and can't imagine my day without those feeds. It has been one of my favourite parts of motherhood so far, although it has not been without its hurdles and tears (from both of us!).

When I flash back to week 1 of my daughter's life I realise just how far we have come on our breastfeeding journey. I remember sobbing and screaming in pain, my nipples raw and bleeding. In that moment I didn't think I could manage another feed, I definitely didn't expect to still be feeding her now!

I am no Superwoman, but am proud of my perseverance, and was surprised by the determination that feeding my baby inspired in me.

I only ever expected to breastfeed her for 3-6 months, I never expected to feel the way I do about it and I didn't expect I would be as attached to it as I am. For me there is nothing more special then those cuddles whilst she feeds and strokes me (scratches and pinches!) with her little hands.

It has made me feel so important and empowered that I am providing her with the nutrients she needs to grow, as well as the comfort she needs to thrive.

At first I was so nervous to feed her in public and to leave the house. What will people think? Are they staring at me? Will I offend someone? Those feelings have all gone out of the window. I'm not ashamed to say that just about everyone has probably seen my boobs at this point. When your baby is hungry it really takes priority over your dignity!

It's funny now the people who encouraged me most to breastfeed are shocked I am still feeding. "You're still feeding her?" they ask in shock. "You will be one of those weirdos on This Morning who's still feeding their 7 year old" they joke. And although I am certainly not going to be feeding her at 7, I can now understand those women I once mocked and thought were strange.

There is something so sacred about breastfeeding that I don't think you can understand until you are a breastfeeding mum! I am just not quite ready for it to be over yet!

My daughter was so stubborn she refused to even suck a bottle until she was 10 months old. Which at times was really hard as it meant I couldn't really be parted from her. I was left feeling frustrated and desperate for her to take a bottle as if I was somehow to blame.

Now that she will accept a bottle I can't help but feel a little jealous and replaced, so I still feed her twice a day.

My advice to those of you beginning your journey would be that you have to want to do it, for you and for your baby. There are so many pressures on Mums and so many different opinions will be thrust at you from everyone who's ever had a child. Do what is right for you.

Breastfeeding isn't right for everyone, but if you take one thing from this PLEASE give breastfeeding a try! If you feed your baby for 1 week, 1 month or 1 year at least you can say you gave it a go! After all that is what our boobs are there for!

It may be painful to begin with, but I can promise you it will be worth it! The rewards far outweigh the initial discomfort.

Although the pressures from others do sometimes make me question myself I know It is doing neither of us any harm to continue a little longer.